Here’s Johnny! This, that and the other
Please allow me to begin by thanking the thousands of Dear Readers who did not call or write me with comments about what happened to a certain columnist’s favorite sports team in Philadelphia Sunday night.
I was a little afraid of what I’d find on my voicemail or email Monday morning.
For those of you who inadvertently or otherwise missed last week’s Here’s Johnny, I’ll briefly recap the confession therein: I am a near-lifelong Minnesota Vikings fan who was stirred beyond reason by the Minnesota/Minneapolis Miracle the previous Sunday.
The following day, I chose to come out of the closet and out myself as a fan of a team that is 0-4 in Super Bowls and, wow, 0-6 in NFC Championship games. Without the help of a licensed mental health care professional, I traced the roots of my fandom and the many heartbreaks suffered since. I even included a picture of myself as a young lad about the time I started following the Vikings, with a missing tooth and bowl haircut just like Jim Carrey in “Dumb and Dumber.”
I did so with some level of confidence, as the Vikes were three-point favorites against the Eagles. I figured, after they’d erased the memory of the original “Hail Mary” that kept them out of Super Bowl X with one of their own, this might just be the year.
Of course, I was wrong. Considering their record in really big games over the last 48 years, I was not only dumb, but dumber.
I am moved to paraphrase a commissioner of a different sport: The Vikings break your heart. They are designed to break your heart.
Good thing I’m all grown up now, and can remember Lincoln’s answer when asked about losing the U.S. Senate race to Stephen Douglas in 1858. The only president taller than yours truly said that he felt like the little boy who’d badly stubbed his toe – it hurt too bad to laugh, and he was too old to cry.
Two years later, Lincoln was on his way to the White House.
At the rate things are going, I may have a better chance of becoming president than witnessing a Vikings Super Bowl victory.
Hey, wasn’t it nice to have a break from snow and sub-freezing temperatures last weekend? To watch the snow melt, and not have to scrape your car windshield, and be able to open your windows at home for a little fresh air?
Even as far north as Philadelphia, it was a balmy 45 degrees on a Sunday night as the Vikings took the field against the Saints, and …
And now for something completely different: this week’s special Health Section in The Sun. Everyone worked very hard to put together health-related news stories and advertisements. There’s lots of useful information in the section, including a not-so-bad story penned by a certain Vikings fan about a man who took out an ad in your paper of record to let people know he needed a new kidney.
In fact, we had so much health-related stuff this week that our regular section has a story about a Woodford County man who drives to Lexington every other Thursday to donate life-saving blood platelets.
We hope you enjoy …
Next year, I plan on interviewing a psychiatrist about the impact of repeated losses by a favorite sports team on one’s psyche. With any luck, it’ll run about the time of the Super Bowl.
As always, you can reach me with column comments, story ideas or winning lottery numbers at (859) 873-4131, ext. 13, or firstname.lastname@example.org.
Please be kind – I’m a little delicate these days.