• John McGary, Woodford Sun News Editor

Here's Johnny

Getting rich darn soon

At least a couple of times a year, inspiration in the form of 700 or so semi-coherent words on a particular topic does not arrive in my mental inbox, so I resort to musings on several topics.

(Dear Readers wondering if that happens far more frequently may be onto something.)

Anyway, none of that may matter now. A couple of days ago, I checked my personal email spam folder and everything changed:“Release order note to claim your Inheritance Funds, Certified Bank Draft (Checks)/ATM cards that your email was selected. Contact Ms. Peters so your funds will be credited to you. Ms. Peters{F. A}”

Above that message was a warning from Google: “Be careful with this message. Similar messages were used to steal people’s personal information. Unless you trust the sender, don’t click links or reply with personal information.”

That’s just like Google brass – not wanting anybody other than themselves to get rich. I mean, how can anyone by the name of Faithful Jumoke Peterson be crooked? C’mon, Faithful is her first name!

Or his, perhaps.

Maybe she’s a friend of the Nigerian Ambassador’s son, who’s supposed to get back to me any day about another inheritance for which I’m due.

Details on my celebration/retirement party will follow soon …

How not to joke

Those of us who consider ourselves wiseacres always run the risk of being not funny, misunderstood, or worse. I’d call it an occupational hazard, but most of my attempts at humor, save this column (some weeks), are unpaid.

Here’s an example of how not to handle an earnest question from a young lady and fellow journalist about whether it’s safe to walk across the Weisenberger Mill Bridge: Do not look at the weight limit sign posted near the bridge, then back at her and say, “Well, it doesn’t appear to me that you weigh three tons, so you should be just fine.”

That would be a really stupid thing to do at one of my favorite places in the world, or, for that matter, near any bridge or weight-bearing structure.

110 percent award

The lengths Dear Readers go to help us at the Sun is an inspiring if sometimes inexplicable thing. Every week, folks send us photos we weren’t able to shoot ourselves and story ideas we hadn’t thought of (and sometimes can’t get to as soon as we’d wish). Without their assistance, this paper would either be a few pages shorter or have large white spaces surrounding stories and photos and ads.

This week’s star contributor is Hallie Allison, a member of the Woodford County Courthouse team at the June 1 Relay For Life of Woodford County. I reached out to Hallie for help with the names of the folks carrying the banner during the survivors’ lap that marks the official start of the event. I knew the fellow holding the left edge of the banner, Ronnie Durbin, but the identities of the other three were unknown to this reporter.

They were unknown because this reporter continued to snap photos instead of following until they sat the banner down and asking their names. “Lazy” is a four-letter word. I prefer the two-word phrase, “absent-minded.”

Anyway, Ronnie suggested I call Hallie and she got busy. I think she called or emailed at least one-third of the people who live in this fine county, which made me feel more guilty by the minute. I finally told her that there was another version of the photo I could use, and that I surely appreciated all her work.

The following day, after I’d already chosen another photo, the unidentified lady just happened to walk into the county clerk’s office, where Hallie works.

Thank you, Hallie, and thank you, all y’all who send us stuff.

I’m really going to miss that community spirit after Faithful sends me that inheritance and I leave the Sun, but I promise we’ll share one last blow-out as soon as the check clears. I think we’ll hold it on the Weisenberger Mill Bridge, with someone else in charge of making sure there’s always less than three tons worth of people dancing on it.

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