Here’s Johnny!, By John McGary
Odds and ends, once again
How ‘bout them Cats?
After the University of Kentucky gridiron squad’s dominating performance against South Carolina Saturday night in Commonwealth Stadium – excuse me, Kroger Field – Big Blue fans are starting to believe. They’re even starting to learn from their mistakes. After pouring into the end zone the previous week (perhaps after pouring certain liquids down their gullets), which will cost the UK Athletics Department $100,000, they kept their enthusiasm in the stands.
That’s important – the UK Athletics Department can’t just print $100,000 bills, you know? Wildcat players seem to be echoing the late comedian Rodney Dangerfield in their complaints about getting no respect, and if that’s helped them become perhaps the school’s best team in 41 years, more power to ‘em. However, after their second big win against an SEC team, albeit at home, I thought they might have to retire that line of reasoning.
Then I checked out the line for next week’s road game against Texas A&M. Sure enough, according to “Vegas Insider,” the Wildcats were 6.5 point underdogs. That line could change as Wildcat fans and others place their bets on a team ranked, depending on the ranking agency, 13th and 15th, but it’s bound to be fuel for Benny Snell, Josh Allen and company.
Speaking of fuel: Considering the fine levied for behavior on Kroger Field, will the UK Athletics Department get $100,000 in fuel points?
That could make recruiting trips a lot cheaper.
Thanks, but …
I have written before about how nice folks are here, but some people are being so nice to me that, were I a cynical fellow, I might think they were buddying up for nefarious reasons. In the last few weeks, some of the candidates for political office have:
• Offered to name their third- and fourth-born children after me.
• Gone on and on about what a fine newspaper, of which I happen to be news editor, we have.
• Asked whether I’ve lost weight, and which gym I go to.
• Thanked me for our thoughtful questions in our Q & A series.
• Returned calls and emails a lot quicker than usual.
• Laughed uncontrollably at second-rate material from me. C’mon, make me earn it!
• Offered to name their fifth-born after me.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Courtesy and humility matter a great deal to me when it comes to political candidates, co-workers, friends and folks I’ve just met. But let me make this clear: Flattery will only get you so far (which means not very far at all) and office-seekers’ praise or lack thereof will not affect our coverage one bit.
On the other hand, part of me is still waiting for an offer involving first-born naming rights. In case you find “John” too pedestrian – hey, I didn’t pick it – my middle name is Calvin.
I didn’t pick that, either.
In closing …
It’s a privilege to be able to use this slice of page two to try to inform, amuse and, at times, irritate folks. I try to remember that when the well is running dry and I’ve no idea about what to type 700 words or so. Last week, in fact, I only got two-thirds of the way there, though reviews were better than I’d expected.
This is where you come in, either literally, by walking through the Sun’s front door at 184 South Main Street, or by calling 873-4131, ext. 13, or by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
What would you like me to write about?
Dear Readers who submit ideas that lead to a successful or at least finished column will be rewarded with a free copy of the Sun and, unless I’m feeling cranky, a tour of our historic building. The tour consists of me leading folks through a back room filled with equipment and saying things like, “I’m not sure what that does, but we used to use it a long time ago,” and “Watch out for those webs!” Then we’ll stroll upstairs and finish in the publisher’s office, in a room wallpapered with old Suns and overlooks South Main Street. It is, for those reasons and at least one other, my favorite office in the building. Of course, if you’re in a hurry, you can just accept my grateful thanks and walk out with your newspaper.